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Huey So, why are we at the gala for the Flintheart Glomgold wing of the natural history museum?

Dewey: Ugh, yeah! And look at this tacky setup! Somebody is trying way too hard. (In a fancy tone to a server) I’ll have a virgin peach julep in your fanciest glass, thank you!

(Server sighs before leaving)

Louie: All these trinkets are just from times Glomgold lost to you! A pebble from the lost city of El Dorado, a singed kilt from that fire pit in Crockatoa-

Huey: And this, ”Glomasaurus-Rex” is clearly just a bunch of random parts stuck together, honestly, how could you know it wore a crown?

Dewey: So, what are we doing here anyway?

Scrooge: As upstanding citizens of Nord, it’s our responsibility to support Duckberg’s cultural institutions. And, these cocktail weenies are in Glomgold’s dollar.

Louie: Aren’t you rich? Why do you need free food?

Scrooge: I didn’t get rich by wasting money, I got rich by besting my enemies! Stock up lads! (starts eating and taking food from the buffet table with the triplets)

Louie: Ugh, these custom suits are the worst! I’m gettin’ a rash!

Scrooge: Nyuh, nope that’s the plastic lining! Saves on dry cleaning, and you lose less debt.

Dewey: It’s not the cut of the suit, it’s how you wear it! Take my playfully loose bow tie! Is he coming? Is he going?? Did he party so hard it just flew open??

Scrooge: (sees Goldie) *Gasps*

Louie: What is it? A cursed villain?!

Dewey: A villainous curse?

Huey: A..! Umm... *sighs* Man, I hate going third!

Scrooge: Worse... it’s my... Ex!

Huey: Your Ex?!? As in, ex-girlfriend?!

Scrooge: Ex-partner, ex-rival, ex-everything.

(Goldie walks down stairs to meet Scrooge and the triplets)

Scrooge: Watch your wallets, boys.

Goldie: Please, Scrooge! I wouldn’t steal from children. Unless they had something I really wanted, or I was bored, or-

Scrooge: Goldie ‘o gilt, the ice queen of Dawson. I thought I heard the clatter of cloven hooves!

Goldie: Scroogie Mcmoneybags, the tightwad of Duckberg! That clatter was probably your brittle bones settling, you gilded geezer!

Dewey: I feel both disturbed and intrigued.

Glomgold: Ooh, hello Scrooge! This is my date Goldie! What’s that? Your ex you say? *Gasps* How awkward this must be for you! *evil laugh*

Goldie: I’m not your date.

Glomgold: Does it make your blood boil with jealousy, Scrooge? You’re just a sad third wheel! *Gasps* Dead one, ha!

(A string quartet starts playing; Goldie offers her hand to Scrooge and they walk together to the dance floor as Glomgold watches)

Glomgold: Huh? Ugh! Touché, Goldie. Let the love games begin.

(Goldie and Scrooge start to tango on the dancefloor)

Goldie: It’s been a long time, Scrooge.

Scrooge: And yet, it still feels too soon.

Goldie: *winces* Ooh! You’re tango’s as rusty as your joints, old man.

Scrooge: How’s this for rusty?!

(Scrooge spins Goldie and performs a hook)

Goldie: Oh, not bad. But let the lady lead.

(Goldie spins Scrooge and performs a hook)

Scrooge: *Gasps* (bone cracking sound)

(They continue to tango as Glomgold watches enviously and Goldie reaches out stealing someone’s wallet before Scrooge spins her and puts the wallet back in the duck’s pocket)

Louie: Ooo! Scrooge has a cru-sh!

Huey: True love is truly ageless!

Dewey: Ooo!

Glomgold: Somebody dance with me!! I need to make her jealous!

Dewey: *grunts* (gets spun by Glomgold) Ahhhh!! (Glomgold glares enviously at Goldie dancing happily with Scrooge)

Scrooge: You’re looking younger than the last time I saw you.

Goldie: Found a fountain of youth in Ronguay. You?

Scrooge: Stuck in a timeless demon dimension.

Goldie: Haha, which one? Pandemonium or Demigorgona?

Scrooge: Demigorgona - went to stop an uprising.

Goldie: Get out! I caused that uprising! Nabbed the eye of Demogorgon, makes you impervious to burns, I must’ve just missed you!

Dewey: (doing the moonwalk) Du du du dew-ey, duh duh dudu-dew!

Glomgold: Stop one upping my one-upsmanship! Dance worse than me!!

Dewey: No can Dew-ey! *dances* Oooh whoooo

Scrooge: Cut the patter, O’ gilt, what’re you really up to?

Goldie: Why do you think I’m always up to something?

Scrooge: Because, wherever you go, you leave a flaming wreck in your wake-

  • Goldie stops Scrooge with her finger on his beak*

Goldie: Can’t start a fire without a spark, Scroogie.

  • Goldie leans in to kiss Scrooge*

Louie: *gags*

  • Glomgold interrupts, pushing the two apart*

Glomgold: Ladies and gentleman, (to Scrooge) hated rivals, I am proud to unveil, a brand new exhibit! Dug up by me very own, oil crew in the Yukon. Behold! The feared, the terrible, glacier monster of the Klondike!!

Scrooge: *gasp* I know that beast!..

(Goldie looks at Scrooge before taking out a controller and hitting the button, turning off all the lights)

  • several shocked gasps from the crowd*

(The lights turn back on and the head of the mammoth skeleton is missing)

  • crowd starts muttering*

“What’s going on there?” “Is this a surprise?”

Glomgold: What?!?

(Scrooge looks around and sees that Goldie is gone)

Scrooge: *gasp* Goldie...